Significance & Satisfaction…
Significance and satisfaction are scientifically proven to be found in meaningful relationships. Perhaps you didn’t need science to tell you that!
I recently read a book on regrets by Daniel Pink. It’s been quite insightful and I wanted to share a few ideas that have been a good reminder for me.
There was an article in the Harvard Gazette that offered the following conclusion when reflecting upon the largest research project about “well-being” that was ever undertaken,
“Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives. Those ties protect people from life’s discontents, help protect people from both mental and physical decline and are better predictors of long and happy lives than social class, I.Q., or even genes.”
We need relationships that form strong bonds, experience devotion and provide a sense of community. Hopefully you're finding that in our congregation. Love expressed in these ways serves all of us well. And yet we all know that relationships take work and if we are not intentional, they can drift or even be torn apart. This leads us to carry relational regrets.
Daniel Pink writes about Closed-Door and Open-Door Regrets.
Closed-Door regrets happen when you missed your chance to engage in relationship. (E.G. A loved one dies and you didn’t say goodbye.) The door is closed and we can no longer do anything about it. However, we CAN decide to do better next time!
Open-Door regrets happen when you have a rift in a relationship that could be mended but you haven’t done anything about it. (E.G. Lost touch with a college friend) The door is open, it just requires someone to walk through it, to take initiative. We fear and overestimate the awkwardness, while we under-appreciate how much the friend may value hearing from us.
God gives us deep, meaningful relationships as a gift. We need to do the care-taking work in order for them to fulfill their potential and when we do, it’s even a form of self-care.
What lesson have you learned from a Closed-Door regret?
Who do you need to reach out to in order to resolve an Open-Door regret?
I pray the Lord would guide you in these ways for your welfare and that of your relationships.
Your Friend and Pastor,
Pastor Nate